April 11, 2010

There are the tulips that I brought home:

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Dealing with death...

April 9, 2010

I just read an account of the memorial service for my young friend, and there seems to be one major difference that strikes me, between the way this community (I think they are Syrian Christians, but I don’t know!) and mine, speaks of those who are gone. And…I like their way better. To me, talking affectionately of a person with his strengths and weaknesses is a great way to celebrate his memory. . it is holistic….it includes all of the person, “warts and all”. I am not comfortable with the Tambram way of elevating the departed soul to boring, no-faults sainthood; I feel it’s not honest, though done, perhaps, from good motives… but while “speak no ill of the dead” is a good tenet to follow, if taken to extremes, it’s just not credible. When I tried to talk about how my mother had been very irritable (the consequences of her many and major illnesses) I was shushed down and told not to be disloyal. Does loyalty mean that one’s eyes must be firmly closed, or that all faults should be cremated along with the person? I happen to think not.

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