I get the news That a life, once vigorous, Is ebbing. I do not know how long The tide will remain And when the waters, receding, Will take the light with them. The skies darken, But there is no beauty from the stars; Instead, there is the gloomy Overcast darkness of heavy clouds overhead. Helpless, powerless, I remain Distant: no amount of my love Can let me experience what that ebbing life And those who are part of the family Are going through now. I move… Like a pendulum, from worried grief, To acceptance of what must be. A life of trying to think positively Does not allow me to let go of hope altogether. Perhaps, something will work? Some herb will stem the irrevocable tide Of galloping illness? Hope, hopelessness: if I swing So uncontrollably between these two, I can only imagine what those who are close must be feeling. On top of everything else lies guilt: Did I do enough when I could? Is there anything I can do now… Which I am not doing? Why am I healthy, when my friend lies there With health leaching out? My mind tosses and turns, It seeks peace only in meditation. Let me let go for a while…and try and sort myself Find inner peace in the midst of the turmoil. Life and death are, and will be, eternal mysteries. Let me not try and solve them, Eroding myself in the effort.