I give him pieces of apple to eat. He shoots me with his tiny forefingers, with what he thinks is a gun noise. I have to slowly wilt, with my tongue out, on to the chair he’s standing on. He then gives me a “Vitamin K2 kiss”, and I instantly revive with a “whoosh” sound. Repeat 843 times.

Then he cuddles up with “Jahnavi Giraffe” and “Sheepy” and lies, an angelic-looking bundle, lost to the world. Peace and quiet reign again…for a while.