SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, “Congrats”. But, none of them touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job”. Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.
Other Simple Truths
- Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
- Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.
- If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
- Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
- Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.
Bonus Truth: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.