As usual, I cannot log into my Vijaya Bank account. So I call up tech support (VNET Banking.)

I try the option that the Net Banking techie advises me to do…I say I “forgot password”. That is step 1.

Even this, the tech support tells me to use Internet Explorer, and I tell her that I cannot. I try on Chrome, because she is wrong: I can access the other two accounts that I have joint holding on, and I access them.

The net page takes me to Step 2, where I painstakingly, and repeatedly, enter the details of my ATM debit card, the last transaction (it is to see this that I want to access the account…thankfully, I just updated my passbook a few days ago, so I have the information), and other stuff.

Repeatedly, I get the message, “Invalid account number.” Invalid account number? My account number was accepted, that’s how I got to Step 2.

After 3 attempts, I call tech support again. She listens to me as I patiently go over all that I have done. She then asks me for my date of birth. I tell her.

“No madam,” she says, “That’s the right date.”

Oh, the bank knows my date of birth better than I do! I try to reason with her, and she finally accepts, “Madam, the bank has not entered your date of birth correctly.”

So..what should I do?

“You have to go to the bank and correct this, Madam, otherwise you cannot…” do whatever it is I need to do.

Between superbly efficient coders and even more efficient data entry, I am having the most wonderful time with Vijaya Bank.

HOW I wish I could consign this *&#$ bank to H#LL, but there are many reasons I cannot close the accounts.