Today (2nd June) I functioned on two levels..on one, being myself, being with everyone, laughing and joking…on another…..hell. 37years. Starting with good ones….obviously, getting worse all the time. Died on January 24th, 2013.

What a failure I am. Apparently, I should not think this…but I do. I know that grief heals in time…but not yet, not yet. I cannot forgive myself. It’s much easier to forgive others, than to forgive oneself.

Took me the whole day to decide to post this. My heart is still on fire.