Some politically incorrect Indian jokkus...

March 2, 2013

Q. What are Jokkus?

A. In the old days of travelling “tent” cinemas, Tamizh people had a politically very incorrect crack about Kannadigas. It was said that a comedy sequence would be shown on the screen, and the Kannadiga audience would watch stoically. Following this, a sub-title would be flashed: “Ithu Jokku” (This Is A Joke). The audience would then laugh.

I’m sorry, that’s what I heard, growing up…so I am retailing it here!

Here are some old, and some new (at least, to me), PIJ (Politically Incorrect Jokkus) that I got on an internet forward….

If there are any non-Indian friends who are reading this….there are too many contexts to explain, so just enjoy the ones you do understand!

Any chance of Rahul Gandhi entering the cabinet? Isn’t it time Sonia did some beta testing?

Maybe Yeddy could be sent to Kashmir. In a few years, all the land will belong to his family, and all problems will be solved.

Government of Egypt blocks all internet access. The country can now be renamed gypt.

100 phones tapped each day per operator. Finally we have a government that listens to us.

Vote for Baba Ramdev. He’ll be the PM who can help you make your ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.

Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance. They can call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.

Kalmadi’s aide is in jail. Raja’s aide is dead. Satish Sharma denies ever having an aide. India seems quite serious about eradicating Aids.

Police Manual: if it’s one guy, take a bribe. If it’s a couple, harass. If it’s a bunch of people, lathi charge. If it’s a mob, disappear.

According to Census 2011, there are 940 females for every 1000 males in India. Those 60 unfortunate men join the Ram Sena, I guess.

Dear Baba Ramdev, we can’t ban 1000 & 500 rupee notes. We are a secular country. So we need to respect all denominations.

On most days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense. On some few days, he is silent.

Two weapons against corruption: Lokpal and Chappal.

A documentary on Air India’s planes Saare Zameen Par.

I really don’t understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem. Chemically speaking, it’s a solution.

Since 1977, West Bengal has been crawling along at approximately 0.00000000001 kmph. They’ve just covered 3 CMs in 34 years.

If P&G buys Unilever, the unified entity can be called Procter and Gamble and Lever. Abbreviated to PaGaL.

Gandhi would have been a great bowler. He could spin as well as fast.

Baba Ramdev is going to create an army with a headcount of 11,000. Or a leg-count of 22,000. Depending on which side is up.

Three generations of Bachchans BigB, WannaB, and now BayB.

25-paise coins to go off circulation from Jun 30. The govt feels they can’t handle one Anna, so there’s no need for four annas.

Every night families in rural U.P. must be shuddering in anticipation of Rahul Gandhi dropping in for dinner and whacking their charpai.

I think Manmohan should get VVS Laxman into the cabinet. The UPA is in major trouble in its second innings.

Kalmadi: So what are you here for? Anna: Jan Lokpal bill. And you? Kalmadi: video bill, sponsorship bill, catering bill, etc.

All MPs to get iPads. Awesome. As some would say, from anPad to iPad in 3 days.

It’s been a pretty decent tour for india. We beat three teams Sussex, Kent & Leicestershire. And lost to only one England.

The word Engineer is derived from Anjaneya (or Hanuman), who built a bridge and didn’t hang around with girls.

Bangalore may have a nice past. And a great future. But there’s no current.

Infosys: More profits means great quarter. UB: More quarters means great profit.

BJP guy gives 500 rupee notes to journalists for +ve Rath Yatra coverage. He must have heard that a good reporter always takes notes.

Anna Hazare breaks vow of silence. So Manmohan Singh wins this one.

A big time Eid Mubarak to all. Except of course, goats. Who tend to look at EID backwards.

Think of the tiger. Think of hockey. All national icons. Now you get it? The real problem with the rupee is that it is the national currency of India.

PM says India and China are good friends. Of course we are. We have so much in common. Like Arunachal Pradesh.