The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VII We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. ~ Will Rogers Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~ Plato Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~ Nikita Khrushchev When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it ~ Clarence Darrow Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~ Author Unknown If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~ John Quinton Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~ Oscar Ameringer I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~ Adlai Stevenson Campaign Speech, 1952 A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~ Texas Guinan Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. ~ Gore Vidal I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~ Charles de Gaulle Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession . I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. ~ Ronald Reagan Politics: [Poly “many” + tics “blood-sucking parasites”] ~ Larry Hardiman Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~ Doug Larson Don’t vote, it only encourages them. ~ Author Unknown There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators. ~ Will Rogers