It’s nice to go on holiday, and I can stay without the internet perfectly well…but it’s when I come back that it hits me that I do want, after all, to see what my friends have posted, what has been happening…and the backlog is just too much, sometimes.

I’ve gone back a few days to see some posts, but am giving up the attempt as there’s just too much to do, too much to catch up on.

Even when I got my Reliance net card to work the first day, it was so slow that I was just sitting and trying to catch up, so I just gave up the attempts afterwards. Even my mobile connection was very patchy, up in the sub-Himalayan hills.

Letting go is easy…it’s getting back again that’s very tough.

But…there’s a little more to this.

This feeling of being unable to cope, the feeling of “things piling up” and getting beyond control, is something that’s been developing for a little while, and I had a major problem last week…I need to get some serious counselling. I will be seeing a clinical psychologist as soon as possible.

Hope to be back to my usual (ab)normal self soon. So tired, so down is very unlike me…..I’ve not enjoyed my life in the recent past….and that’s a rare thing, thankfully. Let me see if professional help works.