Some more one-liners from an internet forward
 Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
 Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.  Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!  I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.  A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.  Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.  Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.  You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.  Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.  Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.  Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.  My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.  Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.  A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.  It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.  Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.  Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.  Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.  They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!  Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! There is only one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world, and every neighbour has it!