Some more one-liners from an internet forward

March 25, 2011

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. [3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! [4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. [5] A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms. [6] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. [7] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later. [8] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it. [9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. [10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. [11] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. [12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me. [13] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others. [14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. [15] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them. [16] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. [17] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books. [18] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. [19] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something. [20] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak! [21] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! [22]There is only one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it. [23]There is only one perfect wife in the world, and every neighbour has it!