How do you make a Web page compatible for Mac users?
Use a third-grade vocabulary and no words with more than two syllables.

How do you fix a broken Mac?
Buy a Windows-based computer.

What do a Mac and a bowling ball have in common?
They have about the same weight, and the same compatibility with real operating systems and real software.

Farmer Brown goes to the orchard and picks 50 apples. How can he tell which one is bad?
It's the Macintosh!

Can you run Windows on a Mac?
No, to do that you need a computer.

Why did the angry Mac user cross the road?
There was a Dell store on the other side.

What's the difference between a Christmas ornament and a Mac?
About ten pounds.

How many Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, if he can get to a library and google "change light bulb" on the Windows machine there.

Apple claims that even a total idiot can operate a Mac. Is this true?
Certainly! Who else would want to?

What's the best feature of OSX?
Auto-shutdown. The best part is, you don't do anything. It just shuts off.

If PCs are so great, why are there still Macs?
If health is so great, why is there still AIDS?

Why do Macs come in so many cool colors?
So people will use them for decoration instead of for computing.

What does the Bible have to say about computers?
The story of Adam and Eve points out that life is a paradise until you touch an Apple.

If you want to remove a cd from a Mac for safekeeping, what do you do?
Drag it to the trashcan and drop it there, as if you were deleting it.