Walmart announced that, sometime in 2009, it will begin offering customers a new discount item —- Walmart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Walmart brand into their shopping carts,but “there is a market for inexpensive wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas. “But the right name is important.”

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

1. Chateau Traileur Parc
2. White Trashfindel
3. Big Red Gulp
4. World Championship Riesling
5. NASCARbernet
6. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
8. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
9. Grape Expectations
10. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

Actually, I want a job doing this kind of research…how to find such a great, cushy job that will PAY me for pfaffing around?