In an argument...

January 5, 2009

When two people argue, how much one person takes offence seems to be a function of how insecure that person is about the relationship between them.

And when two people argue, it is necessary, always, to get both sides of the story, very carefully, and reconstruct the story of What Actually Happened as opposed to What Happened According To A (or according to B..sometimes the stories don’t even tally!)…. It is equally important not to take sides, though sometimes both your friends will say you are taking the other side! If both complain, you know you are being fair. :)

Friendships are not worth dropping for any but very dire situations. Even if my diamond necklace fell into some mud on the road, I would pick it up, clean it carefully, and wear it again.

Sometimes my friends get together with other friends whom I have introduced…and then they proceed to exclude me, not with any particular intention, but they have conversations and discussions, plans and meetings, neither ever thinks of mentioning to me….that’s happened to me at least once; recently, when I found it happening again, I talked about it to both people and asked that I not be excluded…. I was once told, “the other person whom you introduced is ten years younger than you, so that person is a better friend than you.”

I have had, a few times in my life, friends dropping me altogether, too. It has never, really, stopped hurting. I do wish they had talked and not just walked…out of my life and my friendship with them. But I guess, not all friendships break up in fireworks and angry words…some just…wither away.

I think one of the saddest things I know is the shell of a close friendship, where you say hi to each other, but there is nothing really left, and you can feel the void where the affection was….you wonder what happened, where it went…and there are no answers, only the hurt that you feel.

This also happens when you disagree with something someone says, and the instant response is, “this is it, we are not friends any more.” Sigh! How would I be a good friend if I only said what the other person wanted to hear? I need to tell the person what I think and feel about it.

Oh well, nuff filo sofee; what do SAP Programmers have for breakfast? Or just plain ordinary saps? (Well, you are not one, dear reader, and neither am I, but all that unwashed public out there….)

sap food 030109

This one is especially for and ....!