Marriage and Financial Status....and Thanksgiving...
A wedding, of course, should ideally be a union of two minds,souls and bodies, without external considerations, especially financial ones.
But sometimes it happens that someone from a solid middle-class backgraound meets another person from a very wealthy background, and they marry.
Well, sometimes the two families have mutual respect and things are smooth.
But sometimes, what guests can see is the wealthy family behaving in an arrogant way, and not respecting the other family enough.
This leaves a bad feeling in what should be a happy occasion….
I used to think that the bank balances of the families whose children are marrying didn’t matter…but over the years, I have learnt that it often DOES matter!
But a wedding where the families do not feel equal to each other (or, to be more precise, one family feels superior to the other for any reason…in terms of finances, or looks, or “culture”, or education…or…), the guests do go home rather apprehensive of the couple’s happiness….
It was Thanksgiving yesterday, and along with so much else that I am thankful for, I gave thanks for the most wonderful “sambandhis” I could have had…my life has been enriched by D’s parents, grandparents, and extended family. D’s dad made a lovely speech at their engagement; he said that in an arranged marriage, the families bring the children together, but in this marriage, the children had brought the families together! We were both struck by how many similarities we found with each other, rather than our differences.
D’s dad is, just like KM , a mechanical engineer and an MBA, and they are such similar people that D’s mother and I find it funny!…his grandfather was the Dean of Indiana University and his wife is also a doctorate in Education, and a very good painter as well…D’s mom was a Math major who decided to study architecture after her sons were born! This gels well with us Tambrams who give a lot of importance to academics and education.
DnA are visiting his parents, and D’s grandfather, who has come from Florida to spend Thanksgiving with his son,is getting the news that his son’s son’s son is on his way ….! In our culture, we say that when a man sees the “fourth generation” he can have the 80th birthday celebrations…D’s grandfather laughed when I told him that…he is 93!
Couldn’t have asked for a better family for my daughter…she did a great job of choosing, I must say!