….

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=1 align=right summary=”” border=0><TBODY><TR align=left><TD bgColor=#777777><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 align=center summary=”” border=0><TBODY><TR align=left><TD align=middle bgColor=#ffffff><A class=index href=”http://community.livejournal.com/jokes/”><IMG height=100 alt=”” src=”http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/53629790/82604” width=89 border=0> <FONT color=#000000 size=2>jokes</FONT></A> [<A class=index href=”http://kitanaor.livejournal.com/”><FONT color=#000000 size=2>kitanaor</FONT></A>]</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>“Aim towards the Enemy.”

• Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.”

• U.S. Army

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.”

• U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.”

• Infantry Journal

“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.”

• Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.”

• U.S. Air Force Manual

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.”

• Infantry Journal

“Tracers work both ways.”

• U.S. Army Ordnance

“Five-second fuses only last three seconds.”

• Infantry Journal

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.”

• Col. David Hackworth

“If your attack is going too well, you’re probably walking into an ambush.”

• Infantry Journal

“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.”

• Joe Gay

“Any ship can be a minesweeper … once.”

• Anon

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.”

• Unknown Army Recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.”

• Your Buddies

(And lastly) “If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.”