Mamidom, and why I am not one though I am one...
October 17, 2006
wrote in a comment:
It would drive me nuts when during weddings my aunts and the grandmotherly types come up to me, poke me in the ribs, cackle, and tell me: "You're next."
They stopped that crap after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."
Oh, that was a LOVELY joke ! Started laughing out loud, startling my spouse considerably! The image is too funny to let me stop laughing!
It also reminds me of a line from another old song..."When will they ever learn?" The answer is, they won't...because in their world,and their frame of reference, they are perfectly correct in their behaviour.
And believe me, it doesn't end. After I got married, I thought I had finished with it...but NO. In no time at all, I had people asking me when my daughter would get married. I silenced many of them by saying she was in a stable live-in relationship and would take her time deciding about marriage, when, and whether or not.
One Mami said, quite seriously,"This is how children would go out of control if we let them go so far away. You have to accept all these things." We are apparently animal trainers, not parents! How to explain to her that I was delighted with the wonderful young man my daughter found, and would have counted my daughter richer for the love she got and gave, whether or not the relationship worked out? Not possible. It was just not within the scope of her values to accept a mixed marriage, or a live-in relationship; to her, it was morally wrong, period.
Then, when she (my daughter, not the Mami, Heaven forefend!) finally did get married, I am constantly being asked, "Any good news?" Is there nothing important, other than that, in her life that they can ask about? I have learnt to answer...yes, you guessed it...with a smile, assume there was no malice meant, appreciate the affectionate concern,but not worry about its limited scope.
Guess why I hate the words "Aunty" and "Mami" though I *am* one, technically!
I am making my comment into a post of my own... thank you for setting off this train of thought.