Sex, Love, Affection..... and Morality
The act of lovemaking or procreation needs extreme privacy (well, for most human beings anyway)…and over a period of time, much of the other activities/body parts associated with it have also become associated with privacy….they are, indeed, known as “private” parts. But over a period of time, this figurative “cover” has become extended further and further….in our Victorian society, the act of kissing is not something that people like to see performed in public; people do not like to see courting couples sitting close together in public spaces (er, they do not like to see them sitting close together in secluded spaces either); physical contact between men and women is frowned upon; any display of physical intimacy is a no-no. As soon as a couple get married, they are supposed to behave in public as if they have no physical intimacy whatsoever. Holding hands? Arms around each other? WHAT!!! That indecent pair!
I think that physical intimacy is a very important part of a relationship and should be expressed– to some degree, I agree, I too don’t want an orgy-in-public!– without a “what will people think” worry. To me there is nothing more beautiful than a young couple walking along, smiling into each others’ eyes, hand in hand. Not all physical contact has sexual connotations; who has not had the delightful experience of cuddling up to a loved one without any sexual overtones to it? An embrace can be such a comfort to the psyche, such a battery-recharge to carry on with the mundane business of living….I do agree that sometimes a look across a room can be as good as a hug, but then, sometimes the actual contact is needed, too.
If young men and women cannot express their physical love in these (to me) perfectly natural ways, they are bound to be repressed and acts of rape, molestation and manifestations of what is, after all, one of the most powerful forces on earth will occur more and more….
We are too, too repressed about PDA (public demonstration of affection). Affection towards children, friends can be shown and talked about, but love for a partner or spouse, which is probably the most important and sustaining relationship in a person’s life, cannot….I cannot but wonder at the logic of this.
This was brought on by reading in various LJs, the accounts of the love people bear their children…but almost never do I read of someone describing, and delightin in, the love they bear for their spouse or partner,…and that’s heterosexual relationships I am talking about. Gay/lesbian shows of affection? Perish the thought, and wash your mind out with Dettol!