The original quip was this:

A cub reporter was asked to keep his obituary as short as possible. So, after enquiring into the circumstances of someone’s death, he wrote:

“Mr Swami looked up the lift shaft to see if the lift was coming down. It was. Age 48.”

I worked this into a piece on lifts, which was published today in the Deccan Herald. Certainly, that is EXACTLY the way I wrote it.

To quote the DH: “Mr Swami looked up the lift shaft to see if the lift was coming down. It did come, when he was just 48.”

The implication of this version seems to be that Mr Swami was waiting for several years on the staircase, and the lift arrived on his birthday…and where does his death come into the report if “it came when he was just 48”?

I have had pieces murdered by being hacked down. I have had them murdered by having incorrect statements interpolated. But this is the first time I have had a great gag killed off by actually giving me extra words.

All I can say to this is, from the heart…Deccan Herald…TOO MUCH!! Too much of words, that is, some of them not written by me.

You want to read the middle? Here goes:

http://www.deccanherald.com/deccanherald/may132006/editpage151302006512.asp